Flight attendants beg travelers to stop doing the one thing that annoys crews most
Airlines Call on Passengers to Re‑think “Attention” Tactics
Flight attendants are telling passengers that the best way to get their help is to use the call button or simply say “excuse me,” rather than tap or touch them. The advice comes after a group of veteran crew members discussed the issue on the “Jumpseat Chronicles” podcast, and a national etiquette expert and a lively Reddit thread have added their perspectives.
Joshua Boyd, co‑host of the podcast and a seasoned flight attendant, said the habit of “poking” and touching crew members is so common that “if we got paid $1 for it, we would be millionaires.” He described it as “one of the most persistent issues crew members encounter,” and urged travelers to “use call buttons or simply speak up when they need assistance.” Boyd noted that passengers sometimes wave or make eye contact, but he feels those gestures are still less effective than using the official means of communication.
The etiquette specialist Diane Gottsman, founder of The Protocol School of Texas, explained that touching a flight attendant violates both personal and professional boundaries. “Just as you would not touch the passenger sitting next to you, you do not reach out and touch a flight attendant to get their attention,” she told Fox News Digital. Gottsman added that a “polite and louder than usual ‘excuse me’ may feel a bit bold, but it's definitely more appropriate than tapping someone on their arm, shoulder, waist or any other part of their body.” She emphasized that flight attendants are focused on safety, so “basic etiquette calls for respecting another person’s job and their personal space.”
The debate spilled over onto Reddit, where users shared their own experiences. One traveler wrote, “I’d love for this to be in an announcement: If you need our attention, please use the call button or your voice, but please do not touch us.” Another commenter defended a light tap on the shoulder as “a pretty common way of getting someone’s attention,” especially in a noisy airplane cabin. A different user expressed frustration, saying, “My ‘excuse me’s’ definitely fail much more often than they succeed.”
The call to use call buttons has already prompted airlines to emphasize the system’s role. Most commercial carriers install a call button in each seat, designed to alert the cabin crew without the need for passengers to reach across the aisle. Flight attendants explain that the button can be pressed quietly, allowing crew members to approach and attend to needs without unnecessary interruptions.
While some passengers are unsure how best to communicate on a crowded flight, the consensus from crew and etiquette experts is that respecting personal space and using the established call system is the most reliable way to get help. If passengers do need to catch a crew member’s eye, a firm “excuse me” or a friendly wave is preferable to a tap or touch.
For travelers, the message is simple: press the call button or politely say “excuse me” when you need assistance. Not only does this reduce friction for crew members, but it also helps maintain a safe and courteous environment for everyone on board.
