Erika Kirk reflects on first year of grief after Charlie Kirk's assassination in NYT essay
Erika Kirk Shares Grieving Strategy After Husband’s Assassination
Erika Kirk, the widow of former Turning Point USA (TPUSA) CEO Charlie Kirk, released a New York Times guest essay that details how she has coped with the loss of her 31‑year‑old husband, who was shot dead on campus at Utah Valley University on September 10, 2025. In the piece, she cites advice from Usha Vance, the wife of U.S. Vice‑President J.D. Vance, and reflects on the ongoing nature of grief.
A sudden tragedy
Charlie Kirk, a conservative activist who founded TPUSA to promote conservative values on college campuses, was speaking in front of more than 2,000 people at a TPUSA event in Orem, Utah, when gunmen opened fire, killing him and leaving his wife, daughter, and the organization in shock.
Within 24 hours of the shooting, Erika Kirk described the experience as “like a fever dream,” and she confessed to not knowing how to move forward. “I didn’t know how I would go on,” she wrote, noting that her thoughts were interrupted by the sudden loss.
The “next 15 minutes” mantra
In her essay, Kirk recounts a conversation with Usha Vance, who shared a memory‑making strategy that has become a cornerstone of her coping. Vance compared the period after a violent event to “being on an airplane with your kids, and you’re going to land in 15 minutes, but the kids are screaming and throwing things. Then the plane lands, and everything is fine again. Just get through the next 15 minutes.”
Kirk says she has taken that advice to heart. She describes standing in her bedroom, looking at his pillow and the scent of his sheets, and ultimately choosing to “just get through the next 15 minutes.” She continued to use the mantra for months, gradually facing other memories—such as the first Saturday without a love note, his 32nd birthday, her own birthday, and Thanksgiving—each time reminding herself to survive the next short interval before moving forward.
Grieving and the new life
Kirk acknowledges that being a widow means redefining traditions. She notes how her daughter is “surviving her own little crashing waves” while she herself navigates the “next 15 minutes” of daily life. She also reflects on faith, stating that while “bad things happen,” she believes in “true faith” and has found peace in the idea that her husband wanted people to find hope and meaning.
“Grief is strange. Time continues even when every part of you wants it to pause or rewind,” she wrote. “At first, I needed to survive the next 15 minutes. Over time, I’ve realized that Charlie would want me to live them.” She adds that, despite missing her husband, she can still laugh and experience joy, underscoring that grief is an ongoing rhythm rather than a condition that disappears.
Professional perspective
Psychotherapist and author Jonathan Alpert, speaking to Fox News Digital, echoed Kirk’s strategy. “One of the hardest parts of grief is that your mind races ahead, filling you with anxiety,” Alpert explained. “You’re trying to solve the rest of your life at the worst possible moment. Sometimes you really do need to shrink the window and just get through the next 15 minutes.”
Alpert added that resilience is “not pretending you’re fine. It’s being able to hurt and still live your life.” He praised Kirk’s essay for showing that those two things can coexist.
Organizational response
TPUSA has not yet responded to a request for comment about Kirk’s recent essay or her role following Charlie’s death.
Looking forward
Kirk’s essay, published on Monday in the New York Times, offers a personal view of grief and coping. Her emphasis on the “next 15 minutes” serves both as a reminder of the immediate steps needed to survive a loss and as a broader message about the possibility of living while mourning. As she continues to navigate life, she invites others to adopt a similar approach, focusing on short, manageable intervals rather than the impossible task of “rewinding” the past.